He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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