he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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