Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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