You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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