so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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