Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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