This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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