Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
