I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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