Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
