her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
