It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize