I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
