toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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