Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm passing your future prison.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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