but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
