problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
