She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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