I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
