She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
