i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
