dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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