I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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