i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
