I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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