Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
