guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I smell stomach acid.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
When are your genitals available?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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