On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize