I hate your face
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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