Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
