I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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