I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize