i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
