someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
