I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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