you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
