Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
