Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
