it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize