I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
