She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
