I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
