Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
