Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
