What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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