I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize