We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
