Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
