I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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