Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
