I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We have started to decorate penises.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
