so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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