She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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