are you still at the devil's house?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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