I think i peed on brittanys purse
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
