A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
