i used baking grease as lip gloss
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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