What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
