I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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