..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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