Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
