I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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