Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
